Looking in the Mirror

Okay, so we didn't make it to Portland. Things don't always go the way you plan, even when you feel like God is leading you and you are doing your best to make his plans happen. I really want to get away from the personal blogs, but I feel like there are so many things that God shows me not through Scripture or Bible study, but just through situations, through working through my emotions, through people who piss me off, or let me down, or make me happy now only to let me down later, and so forth. I think that I learn more from the Scriptures once they have to be drawn upon in ways I never imagined they could be used.

Sometimes I just have this nagging feeling that I am not doing anything that amounts to much. I know that I am not the only one who feels this way, but let me be more specific. I feel like I have been called to do certain things, and then those things don't work out very well, if at all, and you wonder if you were called to begin with, and if you were, do you just suck at your calling? You know it can't be God getting in the way of things, so that leaves two other options: others or you, and when so many of your projects seem to go belly-up, well...to quote The Rabbi in Lucky # Selvin, "The first time someone calls you a horse, you get mad, the second time, you hit him, but the third time someone calls you a horse, well, it's time to go shopping for a saddle." I always tell people that if the same situation continues to happen in your life multiple times involving different people, perhaps the only common variable (yourself) is the problem.

I know that God has a calling on everyone's life, and I have made it my mission to try to help people realize all of the potential that they have in God. I know it is easy to get distracted, trust me. But is you are constantly pulled away by the same distraction over and over, then it may not be the distraction that is the problem. Perhaps you are too easily distracted.

In some of the coming blogs, I will return to some thoughts that I have picked up over the last few weeks, thoughts that I know have changed the way I view my Christian walk and faith. but this time, I just wanted to take some time to sort out thoughts, clear my head, and perhaps let some people know that they are not alone in their frustrations.

P.S.--I think my biggest problem right now is I miss my friends. I am married to my best friend, but there are two other men of God that I have always grown with and learned from and that I feel have spoken the most into my life that are gone, living away now, and sometimes I miss them so much it kills me. That would be Matt Cross and Nate Reed. I have never had friends like these, and I am coming to believe I never will again. I wish we could all live in the same city, even the same time zone, and all do God's work together, but He has had other plans. I have tried to find people to help fill the void that is left with you guys not being around, and I have failed. Godspeed to both of you, and I hope to see you soon.

Next: Looking Ahead